Danielle has been learning to add clever vocabulary and interesting details to her sentences to create a picture in the reader's head. Here is the start of a story about a cat who finds a time machine. Danielle did some editing on her own and then with her teacher. Hope you enjoy.
Fluffy the poofy, ginger cat was picking a handful of beautiful red roses that were growing in his backyard. He went inside to put his roses in a jar of water. After that he went outside to his garage to fix the bumper on his shiny red car which had been damaged in a crash. When fluffy got there he spied a sneaky old grey rat. Fluffy chased the rat into the corner then he saw something mysterious under a dirty old blanket. He marched up bravely and ripped the old blanket off the box. Next Fluffy scratched the box open and found a machine but he didn't know what it was.
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