Friday, April 1, 2011

Rainy Day

Sione had written a paragraph about a rainy day, and his writing group worked with him to edit it....here's what they came up with.

I was so excited when I saw that it was raining outside! I went to my mum to ask if I could go out to play. She said, "Yes my dear boy you may go out."
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 5, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    Well done Sione! That is a tricky one with the comma and the quotation marks.

    Gabby

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  2. TheaApril 7, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    Hi Room 12,
    That piece of writing was very detailed. You payed close attention to details the reader would like to know. It was a very tricky piece of writing to write but you guys worked together as a team and came up with a exellent post for your blog. Well done!

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